


Well I Can Tell You What We Weren't Doing

by taubir



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Arguing, M/M, Okay Now Grif Is The Girl, Simmons Is The Girl, Swearing, The Warthog, and also my first and only grimmons fic, based off the infamous dialogue from s3ep46, car makeouts, the first time i considered them to be a thing in canon, this fic is half a joke and half a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-27 00:55:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14414169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taubir/pseuds/taubir
Summary: For two whole hours.





	Well I Can Tell You What We Weren't Doing

**Author's Note:**

> Tbh the tags sum up what I wanted to say here. When I heard that line I just. I had to.
> 
> This was written a long-ass time ago, so...sorry for anything you don't like about it, lol.
> 
> Hope you enjoy :P

Sarge looked at them both. “What were you doing parked in the shade for  _ two hours _ ?”

“Well,” said Grif, “I can tell you what we  _ weren’t _ doing.”

“Forget it.”

* * *

“Come on, you pussy.”

“Don’t call me a pussy. If anything,  _ you’re _ the pussy.”

Grif just laughed. “What? How?”

Sitting on his lap, Simmons crossed his arms. “Uh, I dunno, let’s see: sneaking the Warthog off without Sarge’s permission, lying to him about last night, and now making  _ me _ be the girl.”

“Pfftt,” said Grif. “You like being the girl.”

“Watch it, dude. I’m close to blowing this whole thing off.” As soon as he’d said it, Simmons regretted his word choice. He could practically  _ see _ the grin forming underneath Grif’s helmet as he leaned forward.

“You mean, blowing  _ my _ thing off?” He joked suggestively.

“That’s it.” And Simmons began climbing off his partner’s lap.

“Wait, no! Dude—look—hey, I’m sorry. I’ll be the girl if you want, alright; just don’t tell Sarge!”

Even though Grif couldn’t see it, Simmons stuck out his tongue at him. “You know, you’re lucky you’ve got such kissable lips. Move over.”

After some rearranging of their positions, Simmons was now seated in the passenger’s seat of the Warthog while Grif perched on his lap. “Comfy now, princess?” Grif smirked from above.

Instead of responding to the goad, Simmons glanced around warily. “I dunno, man...are you  _ sure _ Sarge won’t come looking for us?”

While Simmons was talking, Grif had taken off his helmet, so Simmons could distinctly see the eye-roll he’d reserved exclusively for that statement.

“ _ Yes _ , you worrywart. I promised Donut enough back rubs to distract Sarge for  _ hours _ . Even if he  _ wanted _ to find us—which he never does—Donut would keep him occupied until we got back.”

“Donut  _ does _ like back rubs,” commented Simmons. Sighing, he conceded at last and removed his helmet. Grif helped take it off.

“There’s that beautiful face,” Grif all but giggled once they’d thrown the headpiece in the back of the jeep. Simmons grimaced.

“You’re so the worst.”

“I’m just being the girl!”

“Correction: you’re so the worst  _ actor _ .”

Despite the darkness of the rock’s shadow they had parked themselves in, Grif’s half-lidded eyes sparkled. “Mhm, well...am I still the worst kisser?”

Despite still really wanting to be annoyed at Grif, Simmons automatically began to lean forward as Grif lowered his face closer to his. “You’ll...just have to show me,” he mumbled, trying and failing not to let himself be distracted from his argument. He could feel Grif’s breath on his mouth.

“Deal.”

And theN THEY KISSED

The end.

**Author's Note:**

> You're welcome for that spectacular ending. (Will I ever be serious when it comes to kissing scenes? LOL probably not)
> 
> But heck, fam! I just loved their early dynamic when I was on the first few seasons of this god forsaken show. I HAD to write something when I heard that line. Don't you sit there and tell me they totally wouldn't do something like this.


End file.
